True Spiritual Path

Photo: Andrew Kitchen

I have to confess a defensiveness toward all upbeat pithy spiritual admonitions. Like, “In this moment, you have everything you need.” Or “You are right where you’re supposed to be.” I mention this because these are probably the two concepts I need to grasp most, but for whatever reason find myself fighting.

“In this moment you have everything you need”

My first argument to this is, “Well maybe I do and maybe I don’t. Who are you to tell me?” It doesn’t look like I have everything I need. As a matter of fact it looks like just the opposite. It looks like there’s gaping holes in the boat and unless they get patched pretty soon, the ship’s goin’ down.

After catching my breath and thinking about it though, the pithy ones may have a point. What I actually need to get through this time is probably more available than I think. So the problem must lie with my expectations of what I’m supposed to have in this moment.

I wonder why?

About 3 months ago, I injured my shoulder lifting a ladder. It proceeded to get worse so I saw a doctor and eventually signed up for physical therapy. After a month of it, another month has been prescribed. But halfway into the process, I’m not so sure I’ll get the full recovery I was looking for. All of a sudden fear grips my body, much like the sound of a mac truck slamming on its brakes 5 feet away. Not only will I lose my ability to make a living with my shoulder, I’ll lose my recreation (golf) that provides my sanity! Quick, what should I do? Panic!

But then there’s a good day in physical therapy and things look a little better.

So the spiritual question is, why all the panic? Why do I go there so easily? As a kid, there were no spiritual answers, only ego choices. My personal choice was to wait out all the abandonment and injustice as a kid, knowing that one day, I would take what was rightfully mine. I would go out and conquer the world and right all the wrongs that were done to me.

But of course if you do grow up (which not everyone does), you come to find out that adulthood is more about letting go and contributing where you can than any sort of playing field where you even up the score. Problem is I’m hard wired to even up the score and get something, which then facilitates the scenario for panic to set in.

The beauty of the way God set up the universe in my opinion, is that things happen to let you know, “You can’t go on living like this.” An injury, divorce, sickness, job loss . . . often they’re not coincidences, but stop signs telling us to go in another direction, one that’s truer, that serves us more fully. My shoulder injury definitely forces me to look at my thoughts of invincibility and illusions of getting what I want in my time. Now I’m forced to let go a little more. (as a caveat to this, I’m not sure why nothing happened to Dick Cheney to stop him . . . or maybe it did and his will is strong enough to temporarily push through it . . . either way I’m going to have a talk with God about this discrepancy when I die.)

So I’m guessing the best way to look at these pithy spiritual sayings is as a barometer. I don’t necessarily have to buy them lock stock and barrel. I can meditate on them and when resistance appears, I can look at that and maybe see the blocks inside that are keeping me from peace and sanity.

I leave you with one last admonition, but I don’t recommend meditating on it.

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.